Extrovert Reawakened

This week, two years ago in March 2022 the world shut down because of Covid-19. As the pandemic took over our world, we all retreated. Over the last two years, I have convinced myself that I’m not really an extrovert anymore. At first, I appreciated the quiet of isolation. I started to wonder if going back into large groups and working in person with teams would feel awkward and be draining.

Well, today I had an experience that made me realize that my extroverted self has been laying dormant; wintering in a way. It hasn’t left me it was simply on pause. I got to work with an organization and their leadership team. We started our work virtually over the last few months so today was the first time we all met in person. It was amazing!

I felt extra animated. I could feel and see the emotional field and the relational dynamics in a way that was so much more textured and alive. I witnessed the in between chats that happen when people are together. People told stories and played off each other in a way that flowed. Personalities were revealed and the relationship dynamics became clear. It was energizing and fun and so much more fluid. It’s like the pandemic time has been in black and white and today, I rediscovered the beauty and vibrancy of technicolour.

Driving home, I felt a buzz that only comes when I am in connection with people. Having had to limit this part of myself for two long years it feels so good to be back in connection. I am so ready to shift from socially distanced to socially reconnected. My extroverted self is back, fully alive, with new dimensions that have been quietly percolating during this pandemic time.

Once Upon a Horizon

Once upon a time, in the year 2005, there was a woman who had an opportunity to take a career pause. After 20 years of working in the field of philanthropy an arc ended and time was granted to stop, reflect and to dream.

The time granted space to ponder about what was fulfilling and to unfold ideas on a way to serve that would bring a new evolution of meaning. It was an opportunity to release things that did not serve or inspire any more.

From the quiet, a vision started to bloom. It was time to create something of her own making. It was time to honour the yearning for autonomy, creativity, courage, connectedness, purposeful growth, and leadership.

The concept was simple – birth a business that would help eliminate the loneliness of leadership. She knew what it was like to be lonely and vulnerable as a leader. She vowed that no leader would walk alone.

The pivot required new learning…lots of it. The door opened to the world of professional coaching and she found her way into amazing learning communities. A series of certifications deepened her new skills and awoke a passion for coaching executives, leaders and teams.

The business found its name – Horizon Leadership. She knew that a leaders work is a combination of visioning forward and creating conditions for people to flourish. She also knew that leaders need a safe place to pause and cultivate the art of presencing – intentional moments to quiet and listen – to grow with intention in readiness of the journey ahead.

Today, this woman is reflecting on 16 years of doing the work that is her calling. The gratitude for those who have trusted her on the journey is immense. The collaboration with talented people from around the world has been such a gift. The affirmation that this is the path she was meant to walk is heart filling.

The horizon is vast. There is more to contribute. Today, she is casting her vision into the future, imagining the emerging possibilities and where else purposeful pivots will serve.

Reflections on the founding story of Horizon Leadership on its 16th anniversary.

Mid-Century Modern Mindset

Mid-Century Modern design is having a renaissance right now. It’s an architectural and interior design style popular from mid 1930’s to 1960’s. It really peaked in the 1950’s.

Style signatures include ample windows and open floor plans designed to create a sense of spaciousness. The intention was to open interiors spaces and brings the outdoors in.

As I sit in my own version of mid-century (I’m 54), I realize that there is an evolving state of being that I am embodying. A new normal is emerging. It’s a bit of a dance as some of it is intentional and some of is inspired by life’s natural rhythms.

Many of the elements mirror the descriptors of midcentury architecture and design – clean simplicity, organic, integration with nature, streamlined, abundant light, flexible.

I am choosing simple over complex.

I am choosing to be more open – with my stories, my heart, my dreams.

I am consciously claiming space in my own life to cultivate creativity and expression. By simplifying other things, I’m focusing more on writing and sharing ideas. It feels important to be doing this. It also feels like a gift of service.

I am choosing to be more integrated with the things that I love and value.  This means getting really clear on what I say YES to and NO to.

I am choosing to engage in community in different ways – more simple, organic and fluid. Previously I would engage in more formal structures like Boards and committees. I’m seeing that I can share my time in ways that serve and that are also more flexible and responsive.

I am choosing to integrate with, and be fed by, nature’s wisdom. This is spirit work for me and it fills my cup to walk in forests, watch the clouds, and swim in lakes. It’s a sensory experience that stirs my heart and grounds me.

I am becoming more organic and textured as my body and being transforms at this stage of life. As menopause shifts me I am working to ride the waves in a way that is gentle, compassionate and curious. In a way, it reminds me of child bearing where I had to be completely open to each of the unfolding stages. I learned then that it’s better to dance with the waves and experiences rather than to try and control them. Even though my body is completing a cycle, I sincerely feel that something new is being birthed. It’s cool (she writes while having a hot flash).

So, my version of being a woman at mid-century is about being present, aware, asserting choices and keeping things simple. It’s a conscious life architecture that is also influencing my leadership. It’s an unfolding and I’m enjoying this time as it feels expansive. It certainly feels like more light is coming into my being.

I’ll end with this quote as it is a perfect description of how I am experiencing this phase of life.

“The more in harmony you are with the flow of your own existence,
the more magical life becomes.”
Source: Third_eye_thirst

Listener In Residence: The Experiment

“From listening comes wisdom.”

I have decided to launch a one year experiment. I am self-appointing myself as the “Listener in Residence” at Innovation Works in London. In this role, I will be gifting my time to any of the co-tenants in the community who want someone to listen to them – deeply, with focus, in a non-judgemental way and with empathetic support.

I’m called to do this because I believe that being heard is one of the most empowering things in life. To pause and be present to another human is one of the most precious gifts we can ever give.

I have noticed that when people start to speak out loud about something that may feel vulnerable, bold, risky or over the top joyful, it’s a signal of something emerging. They are getting clear on something that is wanting to shift or change; on the cusp of something really important.

I also believe that people need to be heard, not fixed. Talking things out is a way of creatively figuring things out. As we give voice to a yearning or a concern, we are already finding our way towards solutions and actions.  

In coaching, there is a principle called holding a person as naturally creative, resourceful and whole. So, as I listen, I will pay attention to all the creative brilliance that lives within each person through the stories they will share.

Innovation Works and the co-tenant community is full of amazing humans with all kinds of potential. This is a community of caring, innovative, socially conscious and inspiring people. It’s also a place where people show up because they are change agents and status quo disruptors. They are wired to take risk and live boldly. That’s not always easy work. I want to support this energy with a gift I can give – my time, an open heart and two big ears for listening.

I am called to do this as a way of giving back to a community that has given me so much. Innovation Works London is just over a year old. Its culture and model of community is still evolving. In some small way I hope this experiment will model the way for the power of thoughtful listening when being in action.

How It Will Work
So, here’s the deal. I will be dedicating 15 hours per month for listening sessions. Each session is 20 minutes. I’ll be inviting people to sign up on designated “Listener in Residence” days. You come with whatever you want to share. I’ll listen. I might ask a few unfolding questions. Through the process, you’ll find your way to some new insights, awareness and intentions. Everything shared will be confidential. My greatest hope is that you leave feeling supported, understood and find some new elements of clarity that will spur you on.

Throughout the year, I’ll be blogging about the experience from the perspective of what it takes to deeply listen.  I won’t be sharing any details of people’s stories.  The Vegas Rule will be fully enforced.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

I fully anticipate that this will be a transformative experience. As a leadership coach, I have been trained to be a highly effective and active listener. However, I think this experiment will teach me a great deal on the power of being present and still in service of others. I can’t wait to learn deeply through the process.

So, I am pleased to invite you on the journey with me. Let the listening experiment begin!

 

Embracing the Elephant in the Room

"Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it."  ~ Buddha

We've all heard the phrase 'there is an elephant in the room'. It's code for a difficult issue or significant problem that people don't feel comfortable talking about. It has a power and weight to it that can immobilize an organization or team. However, despite being unspoken the "elephant" issue is either consciously or unconsciously impacting relationships and the ability to get things done.

I believe we should learn to embrace the elephant in the room. Yes, it means that there is some force causing people to be uncomfortable and not talk about something. It's an energy that is big and unmovable. In fact, it could be something that is so sacred, fearful or important that no one wants to go near it. Isn't that usually a signal of something of vital importance that has to be courageously and respectfully explored?

Elephants as a species are powerful. They are very strong and they are gentle. They are loyal. They are patient. It is often said that elephants do not forget nor do they forgive. They are also associated with having great wisdom and compassion. They will fiercely protect what is important to them.

I would like to shift the perspective on elephants in the room. I believe that when the elephants emerge in team processes it's a signal of something transformative unfolding. It may be a bold change that is on the verge of happening. It could be a shift in dialogue that is becoming more open and honest; that the true essence of something important is being revealed. The elephant tension denotes vulnerability and diversity of opinion emerging.

Elephant energy can feel edgy. However, when we embrace it and explore it we can reveal important things that untended to will limit change, innovation or brave new visions from emerging. When we pause to honour the elephant, to name it and work with its energy, we are tapping into a wisdom force that needs to be honoured in order to move forward.

In my experience coaching teams, I often call out the elephant(s). I draw one on a flip chart and ask the team what it is. I playfully identify that the elephant(s) are in the room. I then ask people to pause and quietly reflect on what elephants are present and to write them on a post it note. Everyone gets to put them on the elephant. From there we group them by similar themes. This is a way of revealing the voices of the system; often the marginalized or unpopular ones.

Once we see the themes, we create conditions for people to talk about the elephants. It requires a tenderness and respect in  how people talk about them. I always ask about the elephant wisdom and how it is trying to serve at this time. We explore what is needed so that this wisdom can be considered as we go forward.

While it may be easier to ignore the elephants because they take energy to deal with, I find that when teams can talk about the elephants in a curious and supportive way they release energy that blocks them from true creative collaboration.  Acknowledging and processing the elephants can be a bonding process. It is a way of sharing history and story of an organization in a constructive manner. By speaking of the elephants some of their power is diminished. It frees up energy and opens awareness to what people want to see happen. Elephant exploration helps rewire the collective brains of the team so that new energy can be realized.

It is my wish that instead of ignoring or marginalizing the elephants in the room, that we embrace them and actively invite them into conversations. Only then can we access their wisdom so we can move forward together in more productive and positive ways.

We have much to learn from elephants. The following is a description of the attributes of elephants from a shamanistic perspective. May we embrace these qualities for the sake of healthy and vibrant team relationships and organizational cultures.

"Elephants can teach us that gentleness, commitment, and communication in relationships is very powerful and necessary to keep relationships alive, trusting and loving, whether it be friends, family or partner. Deeply committed to all creatures with whom they have relationships, elephants are tough when protecting others and gentle when nurturing them. The matriarch (the oldest, most experienced female leader of a herd) leads in a way that is both gentle and inclusive. Elephants are able to communicate telepathically. This can teach us how to truly listen to others."

http://www.shamanicjourney.com/elephant-power-animal-symbol-of-commitment-royalty-strength

Courage is Choice in Action

This past weekend I visited my sister Ellen. She’s on the cusp of a grand new adventure as she prepares to move to Nanaimo, BC. She’s picking up her life, packing her belongings and will be driving across the country in just a few weeks. Other than a destination and a new home to move into, the rest of her future is unwritten. She admitted she’s both excited and scared.

As I drove away after visiting I thought how courageous she’s being. Would I or could I do the same? Contemplating it gave me butterflies.

As I pondered, I thought of the many courageous people I am surrounded by.  Most of the clients I work with are experiencing some form of vulnerability. Most of the time they are on the cusp of change – either one that they are designing with intention or one that life has presented and they are reacting to.

Courage is…

Moving to a new city or country without a job or a social network because of a vision and dream of something different.

Fleeing your home land so that you can find a safe country to call home.

Speaking your truth at work or in the community when you know it will be unpopular and possibly put you in danger.

Continuing to apply for jobs after being rejected or ignored many times.

Saying no to people you love to preserve boundaries that you need to sustain so you stay whole and healthy.

Taking a stand for your values and making choices that others might not understand.

Taking the leap and starting your own business.

Asking for help and being uncertain how people will react.

Believing in yourself when no one else does.

Trusting your gut feelings and acting on it when there is no “tangible” proof of evidence to support your actions.

Leaving a job when you don’t have a new one to go to. Doing so because you aren’t fulfilled and won’t stay in a role that sucks the life out of you.

Courage and vulnerability go hand in hand. Courage requires us to dig deep into our own soul, our own beliefs, and our own spirit. It’s a call that reminds us of what is important. It’s a choice to be brave, to take action when we don’t exactly know how it will end. It’s the belief that action is better than doing nothing.

As Brené Brown says, “You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability.”

I’m inspired by the many people I work with and witness who choose courage. In doing so they are honouring their own vulnerability. They are being wholehearted in their action because they are choosing to change their state of being for the possibility of something bolder, brighter and more fulfilling.

Courage is not easy. However, courage is choice in action. It reminds me that vulnerability is the flirt of something trying to happen.  For me, that is inspiring and exciting.

So as my courageous sister drives towards her new life, I’m going to be paying attention to my own flutters of vulnerability actively listening for the call of courage to move me forward in my next adventure.