Extrovert Reawakened

This week, two years ago in March 2022 the world shut down because of Covid-19. As the pandemic took over our world, we all retreated. Over the last two years, I have convinced myself that I’m not really an extrovert anymore. At first, I appreciated the quiet of isolation. I started to wonder if going back into large groups and working in person with teams would feel awkward and be draining.

Well, today I had an experience that made me realize that my extroverted self has been laying dormant; wintering in a way. It hasn’t left me it was simply on pause. I got to work with an organization and their leadership team. We started our work virtually over the last few months so today was the first time we all met in person. It was amazing!

I felt extra animated. I could feel and see the emotional field and the relational dynamics in a way that was so much more textured and alive. I witnessed the in between chats that happen when people are together. People told stories and played off each other in a way that flowed. Personalities were revealed and the relationship dynamics became clear. It was energizing and fun and so much more fluid. It’s like the pandemic time has been in black and white and today, I rediscovered the beauty and vibrancy of technicolour.

Driving home, I felt a buzz that only comes when I am in connection with people. Having had to limit this part of myself for two long years it feels so good to be back in connection. I am so ready to shift from socially distanced to socially reconnected. My extroverted self is back, fully alive, with new dimensions that have been quietly percolating during this pandemic time.

Once Upon a Horizon

Once upon a time, in the year 2005, there was a woman who had an opportunity to take a career pause. After 20 years of working in the field of philanthropy an arc ended and time was granted to stop, reflect and to dream.

The time granted space to ponder about what was fulfilling and to unfold ideas on a way to serve that would bring a new evolution of meaning. It was an opportunity to release things that did not serve or inspire any more.

From the quiet, a vision started to bloom. It was time to create something of her own making. It was time to honour the yearning for autonomy, creativity, courage, connectedness, purposeful growth, and leadership.

The concept was simple – birth a business that would help eliminate the loneliness of leadership. She knew what it was like to be lonely and vulnerable as a leader. She vowed that no leader would walk alone.

The pivot required new learning…lots of it. The door opened to the world of professional coaching and she found her way into amazing learning communities. A series of certifications deepened her new skills and awoke a passion for coaching executives, leaders and teams.

The business found its name – Horizon Leadership. She knew that a leaders work is a combination of visioning forward and creating conditions for people to flourish. She also knew that leaders need a safe place to pause and cultivate the art of presencing – intentional moments to quiet and listen – to grow with intention in readiness of the journey ahead.

Today, this woman is reflecting on 16 years of doing the work that is her calling. The gratitude for those who have trusted her on the journey is immense. The collaboration with talented people from around the world has been such a gift. The affirmation that this is the path she was meant to walk is heart filling.

The horizon is vast. There is more to contribute. Today, she is casting her vision into the future, imagining the emerging possibilities and where else purposeful pivots will serve.

Reflections on the founding story of Horizon Leadership on its 16th anniversary.

30 and Thriving

Today we celebrate our 30th anniversary. From our blind date at Joe Kool’s & the Ceeps to this moment you’ve been by my side. 10,959 days. 262,800 hours. 15,768,000 minutes. Three kids. An abundance of love.

How to capture the essence of 30 years together?

Our early years were fun and carefree. We lived downtown, partied with the best of them, and created our first home together in a great little apartment. It was a nest upon which we built our love. We welcomed Coors the cat into our lives. Our first fur baby.

Our greatest collaboration has been as parents. Ryan bonded us so closely as we would never has withstood the grief of losing him without each other.  Shannon and Jason gave us hope and light as we truly got to experience what parenting meant. What a glorious gift they are for us. If we’ve done something right together, it’s nurturing them to the point where they can now share their amazing gifts with the world.

Between 1998 – 2010, we supported three of our parents while they faced their own health challenges and decline. We did that while our kids were little and needed so much of us. We did it together, determined to support those who brought us into the world. I remember these as years of tag teaming – one of us with the kids and the other with one of our parents. It was intense, and we did the very best we could.

We’ve spent countless hours in gyms and on the road as sport parents. These were the chauffeur years.  We have passionately cheered on our kids as they played their various sports of basketball, volleyball, football and soccer. Through that we met so many amazing families who became friends.

We’ve travelled and had adventures to explore the world – Canada’s East Coast, Quebec, the many corners of Ontario, the Rockies, Bermuda, New Orleans, Greece, Mexico, Italy, Iceland, and Costa Rica. More travel to come! We’ve swam in all of the Great Lakes together. We’ve discovered more of Michigan than we would have ever known. We’ve explored forests, beaches, mountains, and valleys. However, the most special place we share is the Medway Heritage Forest where we stroll together often.

We’ve built our careers. Between us, we’ve started and run three businesses. We’ve both changed our career paths so we could live our passions. Today, we work together in the shared mission of Horizon Leadership. I would have never seen that as an option and yet last year we knew it was the right thing to do. We strategically chose to strength partner to grow and nurture a business together and it’s been amazing.

Five years ago, we started a new phase of life. The kids were both launched in their educational and work pursuits.  Instead of calling ourselves empty nesters we chose to look at this time of life as our relationship renaissance. We got to imagine life as a duo again. That was until our beloved Piper joined us. She's brought a playful energy to our lives and ensures there is always someone to nurture. And yes, we are "those dog people" that post pictures of their beloved canine on a regular basis.

Through it all we have respected each other’s differences. On the good days we value each other completely. On the bad days we understand that the momentary conflict or frustration is just a fleeting moment in the story of our life. We often start at completely different ends of a conversation and end up in the middle. We’ve done it enough times we trust that as our process. While we are not always patient with each other, we balance it out by being loving and kind. The loyalty, love and trust that lives between us is a strong bond and the foundation for our life.

This weekend we’ve celebrated. We got to see Rocky Horror Picture Show at Stratford which was a beyond fun experience – especially meeting the cast for pictures. We attended a wedding and the DJ happened to play our wedding first dance song – Moon Dance by Van Morrison. So, we danced - something that we love to do.

There is so much more to co-create together Sweet Pete. My heart is full and grateful for the love we have shared, the moments enjoyed, and the milestones crossed. 

I look forward  to continuing to hear you whistle while you work and strum your guitar when no one is looking. For that is the sound track of our life together.

“Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights.” Pauline R. Kezer

Mid-Century Modern Mindset

Mid-Century Modern design is having a renaissance right now. It’s an architectural and interior design style popular from mid 1930’s to 1960’s. It really peaked in the 1950’s.

Style signatures include ample windows and open floor plans designed to create a sense of spaciousness. The intention was to open interiors spaces and brings the outdoors in.

As I sit in my own version of mid-century (I’m 54), I realize that there is an evolving state of being that I am embodying. A new normal is emerging. It’s a bit of a dance as some of it is intentional and some of is inspired by life’s natural rhythms.

Many of the elements mirror the descriptors of midcentury architecture and design – clean simplicity, organic, integration with nature, streamlined, abundant light, flexible.

I am choosing simple over complex.

I am choosing to be more open – with my stories, my heart, my dreams.

I am consciously claiming space in my own life to cultivate creativity and expression. By simplifying other things, I’m focusing more on writing and sharing ideas. It feels important to be doing this. It also feels like a gift of service.

I am choosing to be more integrated with the things that I love and value.  This means getting really clear on what I say YES to and NO to.

I am choosing to engage in community in different ways – more simple, organic and fluid. Previously I would engage in more formal structures like Boards and committees. I’m seeing that I can share my time in ways that serve and that are also more flexible and responsive.

I am choosing to integrate with, and be fed by, nature’s wisdom. This is spirit work for me and it fills my cup to walk in forests, watch the clouds, and swim in lakes. It’s a sensory experience that stirs my heart and grounds me.

I am becoming more organic and textured as my body and being transforms at this stage of life. As menopause shifts me I am working to ride the waves in a way that is gentle, compassionate and curious. In a way, it reminds me of child bearing where I had to be completely open to each of the unfolding stages. I learned then that it’s better to dance with the waves and experiences rather than to try and control them. Even though my body is completing a cycle, I sincerely feel that something new is being birthed. It’s cool (she writes while having a hot flash).

So, my version of being a woman at mid-century is about being present, aware, asserting choices and keeping things simple. It’s a conscious life architecture that is also influencing my leadership. It’s an unfolding and I’m enjoying this time as it feels expansive. It certainly feels like more light is coming into my being.

I’ll end with this quote as it is a perfect description of how I am experiencing this phase of life.

“The more in harmony you are with the flow of your own existence,
the more magical life becomes.”
Source: Third_eye_thirst

Listener In Residence: The Experiment

“From listening comes wisdom.”

I have decided to launch a one year experiment. I am self-appointing myself as the “Listener in Residence” at Innovation Works in London. In this role, I will be gifting my time to any of the co-tenants in the community who want someone to listen to them – deeply, with focus, in a non-judgemental way and with empathetic support.

I’m called to do this because I believe that being heard is one of the most empowering things in life. To pause and be present to another human is one of the most precious gifts we can ever give.

I have noticed that when people start to speak out loud about something that may feel vulnerable, bold, risky or over the top joyful, it’s a signal of something emerging. They are getting clear on something that is wanting to shift or change; on the cusp of something really important.

I also believe that people need to be heard, not fixed. Talking things out is a way of creatively figuring things out. As we give voice to a yearning or a concern, we are already finding our way towards solutions and actions.  

In coaching, there is a principle called holding a person as naturally creative, resourceful and whole. So, as I listen, I will pay attention to all the creative brilliance that lives within each person through the stories they will share.

Innovation Works and the co-tenant community is full of amazing humans with all kinds of potential. This is a community of caring, innovative, socially conscious and inspiring people. It’s also a place where people show up because they are change agents and status quo disruptors. They are wired to take risk and live boldly. That’s not always easy work. I want to support this energy with a gift I can give – my time, an open heart and two big ears for listening.

I am called to do this as a way of giving back to a community that has given me so much. Innovation Works London is just over a year old. Its culture and model of community is still evolving. In some small way I hope this experiment will model the way for the power of thoughtful listening when being in action.

How It Will Work
So, here’s the deal. I will be dedicating 15 hours per month for listening sessions. Each session is 20 minutes. I’ll be inviting people to sign up on designated “Listener in Residence” days. You come with whatever you want to share. I’ll listen. I might ask a few unfolding questions. Through the process, you’ll find your way to some new insights, awareness and intentions. Everything shared will be confidential. My greatest hope is that you leave feeling supported, understood and find some new elements of clarity that will spur you on.

Throughout the year, I’ll be blogging about the experience from the perspective of what it takes to deeply listen.  I won’t be sharing any details of people’s stories.  The Vegas Rule will be fully enforced.

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

I fully anticipate that this will be a transformative experience. As a leadership coach, I have been trained to be a highly effective and active listener. However, I think this experiment will teach me a great deal on the power of being present and still in service of others. I can’t wait to learn deeply through the process.

So, I am pleased to invite you on the journey with me. Let the listening experiment begin!

 

Embracing the Elephant in the Room

"Every experience, no matter how bad it seems, holds within it a blessing of some kind. The goal is to find it."  ~ Buddha

We've all heard the phrase 'there is an elephant in the room'. It's code for a difficult issue or significant problem that people don't feel comfortable talking about. It has a power and weight to it that can immobilize an organization or team. However, despite being unspoken the "elephant" issue is either consciously or unconsciously impacting relationships and the ability to get things done.

I believe we should learn to embrace the elephant in the room. Yes, it means that there is some force causing people to be uncomfortable and not talk about something. It's an energy that is big and unmovable. In fact, it could be something that is so sacred, fearful or important that no one wants to go near it. Isn't that usually a signal of something of vital importance that has to be courageously and respectfully explored?

Elephants as a species are powerful. They are very strong and they are gentle. They are loyal. They are patient. It is often said that elephants do not forget nor do they forgive. They are also associated with having great wisdom and compassion. They will fiercely protect what is important to them.

I would like to shift the perspective on elephants in the room. I believe that when the elephants emerge in team processes it's a signal of something transformative unfolding. It may be a bold change that is on the verge of happening. It could be a shift in dialogue that is becoming more open and honest; that the true essence of something important is being revealed. The elephant tension denotes vulnerability and diversity of opinion emerging.

Elephant energy can feel edgy. However, when we embrace it and explore it we can reveal important things that untended to will limit change, innovation or brave new visions from emerging. When we pause to honour the elephant, to name it and work with its energy, we are tapping into a wisdom force that needs to be honoured in order to move forward.

In my experience coaching teams, I often call out the elephant(s). I draw one on a flip chart and ask the team what it is. I playfully identify that the elephant(s) are in the room. I then ask people to pause and quietly reflect on what elephants are present and to write them on a post it note. Everyone gets to put them on the elephant. From there we group them by similar themes. This is a way of revealing the voices of the system; often the marginalized or unpopular ones.

Once we see the themes, we create conditions for people to talk about the elephants. It requires a tenderness and respect in  how people talk about them. I always ask about the elephant wisdom and how it is trying to serve at this time. We explore what is needed so that this wisdom can be considered as we go forward.

While it may be easier to ignore the elephants because they take energy to deal with, I find that when teams can talk about the elephants in a curious and supportive way they release energy that blocks them from true creative collaboration.  Acknowledging and processing the elephants can be a bonding process. It is a way of sharing history and story of an organization in a constructive manner. By speaking of the elephants some of their power is diminished. It frees up energy and opens awareness to what people want to see happen. Elephant exploration helps rewire the collective brains of the team so that new energy can be realized.

It is my wish that instead of ignoring or marginalizing the elephants in the room, that we embrace them and actively invite them into conversations. Only then can we access their wisdom so we can move forward together in more productive and positive ways.

We have much to learn from elephants. The following is a description of the attributes of elephants from a shamanistic perspective. May we embrace these qualities for the sake of healthy and vibrant team relationships and organizational cultures.

"Elephants can teach us that gentleness, commitment, and communication in relationships is very powerful and necessary to keep relationships alive, trusting and loving, whether it be friends, family or partner. Deeply committed to all creatures with whom they have relationships, elephants are tough when protecting others and gentle when nurturing them. The matriarch (the oldest, most experienced female leader of a herd) leads in a way that is both gentle and inclusive. Elephants are able to communicate telepathically. This can teach us how to truly listen to others."

http://www.shamanicjourney.com/elephant-power-animal-symbol-of-commitment-royalty-strength

Conscious Collision

It’s been about six months since Innovation Works London opened. It’s a co-working space dedicated to social innovation. It’s an incubator for creativity. It’s a collection of people and organizations dedicated to social purpose work. It’s an intergenerational, cross cultural and multi-sector co-working space. It’s a hub where social change ideas are birthed. It’s a place designed to create sparks from conscious collisions.

Conscious collisions? What the heck? Stay with me, you’ll get it.

I am in love with this place, the space and the people. I feel myself flourishing in this micro community of like-minded people. I am inspired by the talent and heart of the co-tenants. I am grateful for the new connections and collaboration opportunities that emerge daily.

Co-working spaces are intentionally designed to help people collide. At Innovation Works, the shared kitchen is a hub where people gather – for weekly Salad Club or Wine Down Fridays. Flex desk users sit in different spots, with different people, daily. People literally bump into each other while pondering the latest quote or poll on the chalk board. Dialogue walks are emerging as a new medium for intentional collision moments. They are invitations to walk, talk and share stories, dreams and motivations that form the root of relationships and spark ideas for new ways to collaborate.

Here's my definition of CONSCIOUS COLLISION:

The intentional act of intersecting with people with diverse talents, interests and expertise to co-create through collaboration. Collision moments are often facilitated in co-working spaces - either by chance or design.

Conscious collision moments create opportunities to talk, share, listen, ponder, be curious and learn. What might seem like random, one off conversations often lead to a series of interactions where relationships are deepened and ideas for collaboration emerge.

As I reflect on the highlights of 2016, I notice how grateful I am for the many positive collisions that I’ve experienced so far at Innovation Works. They’ve got my heart racing with joy and possibility thinking.  This community represents a shift in how people work, engage and co-create. It’s fun to be in on the ground floor.

I am also deeply grateful to my dear friend Johnny Fansher who was the spark of this idea in London. I call him the birth father of this project. He was passionate about the possibility and persistent in holding the vision. He gathered people to co-create and cultivate the vision. Eventually Pillar Non Profit, the London Arts Council and London Heritage Council caught the ball and helped bring the dream to reality. Patience, sprinkled with large doses of faith, paired with gritty determination have made Innovation Works come to life.

I can’t wait to see what innovations and collaborations we’ll be celebrating this time next year that got birthed in conscious collision moments. Stay tuned.

Janet Frood is a proud founding co-tenant of Innovation Works London and part of the original dream team that helped cultivate the vision for Innovation Works London. She is the Founder of Horizon Leadership Institute and is an executive, leadership and team coach.

For The Love of Dads

Today is all about Father's. I find myself reflecting on the Dads that are part of my immediate family. Each is a teacher to me. I am grateful and today celebrate them.

First, my own Dad Oren Claude Frood. He's been gone from my life since I was 29 yet I feel his spirit every day. He was charismatic, funny, creative, kind hearted, logical, and wickedly smart. He was also tortured, sad and lost. He and I shared a special bond. The kind where you could just be with the other, not talk and yet we spoke volumes to each other through our hearts. In fact, he was the person who taught me most about empathy. To this day I can still hear his hearty laugh and see his eyes sparkly with mischief.

I was blessed to have William Charles Hawke for a father in law. He quickly became my local Dad. He and I had a unique relationship in that we worked together for nine years. He was also a match maker as he set Peter and I up on our first date. We joked that ours was an arranged marriage. As a Dad, Bill wanted the best for his kids. He wanted them to achieve success in whatever they did. He was proud of each one of them for following a passion. Bill wrote poems for every occasion. He also wrote words that no one else could find as part of the eulogy for our son Ryan when he died. Bill was a very social guy and brought out his goofy, funny side often. However, I was privileged to see his deeply caring and compassionate side on many occasions. I learned a lot about loyalty and heart from Bill.

Then, there is my brother Peter Cameron Frood. Together, with his wife Francoise Cooper Bouchard, he has modelled what it’s like to unapologetically adore your kids. I have watched closely how he has loved and nurtured them through each of their life stages. He is a proud papa bear for sure. He too brings a good humour and teases relentlessly. He has gifted his kids with adventures in life and has modelled setting goals and going for them. His go with the flow state of being has been a powerful antidote to the sometimes intense life we experienced in our birth family. I’ve adopted that in my parenting style and am full of gratitude for the model of parenting he has shown – as Dad and now a Grandpa.

I also want to recognized the wonderful Barry Mark Moore. He is also a devoted Dad. When I think of Mark I think of play. His inner child is alive and well. He is a man of music and has a deep commitment to God, I have seen how he has woven his core values into parenting. His love for family in unparalleled. His care and concern for community has inspired his family to engage deeply in the lives of their friends and community. His commitment to playing in nature, exploring on a bike or communing through music has created many cherished moments with his family. Through Mark I have learned the power of being with not just doing as a parent.

Next I think of my nephew Jonathan Gerard Frood. On the Frood side, he is the first of the next gen to have a child. Seeing him step into this role seriously melts my heart. His pride and joy in being a Dad is pure joy to witness. His intentionality in wanting to be the best teacher, guide and champion for his son Logan is a reminder to me of the importance of the role of parent. His desire to inspire Logan to follow a sporty life is so much fun to watch. The world of opportunity is open to this little guy if you see the abundance of every type of ball or sporting equipment he already has. However, Jon also wants to inspire a love of reading and music, of being a social being and make sure he passes on the legacy of fun and play.

I am also equally inspired by our nephew Christopher James Kroeker.  He too has taken on the role of Dad with an abundant heart. He joyfully plays and creates with his kids. The laughter and fun that is in his heart comes through his interactions with Aubrey and Everett.  As a next gen father he’s found a way for Dad’s to bond by creating the Midnight Dad’s Club. It’s kind of a play zone for Dad’s to unit and spend time together. From Chris I’ve learned that parenting does not forego having fun.

Recently, I’ve been blessed with getting to know and love another Dad. Lorne Murray Hay is my dear friend Kat’s Dad. I’ve been an orphan for a while as my parents both died when I was younger. Lorne, and his beloved wife Betty, adopted me with open hearts. At 53, the opportunity to have Lorne in my life is a great joy. To find someone who can give a hug like only a Dad can at this stage of life is amazing. Lorne is a great story teller and I love hearing about the threads of his life that have shaped him to be the wonderful man he is.

Last, and definitely not least, I want to celebrate Peter James Hawke. Pete and I entered into parenting in a very precarious way. We were intentional and ready. Yet our first son Ryan had other plans for our parenting journey. He was born early and very ill. When Ryan died Pete was solid, steady and always present.  He was also open with his own vulnerability and fears. He journeyed with me through the healing work of grief. He was stalwart in his commitment that we would survive our loss together.

Then came the lights of our lives – Shannon and Jason. Since the day they showed up, Pete’s mission has been to be a devoted Dad. I have a movie reel of images in my mind of many sweet moments he’s shared with them. All I know is how deeply he loves them, how he’s celebrated them at each stage of life they’ve achieved, and how much he savours the time we spend with them now that they’ve flown the nest. I love both his devotion to our kids and how fully alive he is when he’s with them. He is a proud Papa and I am blessed to share the role of parent with him. Through Pete I have learned the artistry of co-creation and the power of strengths partnering for a common mission – the wellbeing of our kids.  

So, these are the Dad’s that I celebrate today. They are an extraordinary group of men who value family, love, commitment, and caring connection. I can’t help but notice that they all share common threads -- those of humour as they all tease and have wicked wits and how they show their love through play and being fully present.

NOTE-- Why I’m using full names. I recently had an amazing experience with a healer, energy worker and musician. He taught me that our unique essence as human and spiritual beings comes through in the architecture of our name. We each have a unique rhythm that is rooted in the syllables of our names. So I am using the full names of these awesome men as another way of honouring their spirits.