In North America, we live in a culture that promotes independence and self confidence.  These attributes above all else, are seen as indicators of success.  In promoting this, we are marginalizing the voice of “I don’t know”.  Instead, people are praised for putting on a brave face that they’ve got everything together…they know the answers.  And if they don’t, they will figure it out. 

What I am describing above is becoming one of the hot topics for the clients that we coach.  These leaders are often feeling they must carry the burden of solutions on their shoulders alone.  They believe it is not safe to reveal what they don’t know, nor is it safe to ask for help…or so they think.

Dr. Deborah Sherani identified the following myths related to asking for help. 

MYTH:  It makes us look vulnerable
MYTH:  Holding things in and keeping personal issues under wraps keeps us secure
MYTH:  It bothers others
MYTH:  Highly successful people never ask for help
MYTH:  I am a giver.  I don’t like it when others help me

It’s time for a major reframe on how we perceive asking for help.  Instead of it being something that minimizes our power, we need to cultivate it as a skill that promotes great teaming, enhanced creativity, and advances productivity.  Imagine how liberating it would feel to shake off the shackles of fear by asking for help! 

Truth be told, this is one of the most important leadership lessons that I had to learn.  That’s why I’m so passionate about developing this skill in our clients.  For me, asking for help has become so liberating.  I’ve discovered that by asking for help I have become more “real” and more approachable.  This has enhanced my friendships, work collaborations, and my marriage.  Having crossed the edge myself, I encourage you to try it…just a little bit and see what you discover.

At Horizon Leadership Institute, we are huge advocates of a strengths based approach to leadership.  Using StrengthFinder 2.0, an assessment pioneered by the Gallup organization, we help our clients identify their top strengths.  The concept is simple – maximize your strengths and learn how to manage your weaknesses.  Learning to manage weaknesses is based on appreciating the strengths in others and partnering with them to create powerful outcomes.  When everyone works from their strengths, a sense of confidence is built.  Through intentional collaborations with people with complementary strengths mutual support and trust is created.  This is a powerful stance where asking for help means you are appreciating the strength of yourself and others.   Everyone gets to be in their power.

We still need to work with the limiting personal and cultural beliefs that influence our perceptions about asking for help.  This can be done at an individual as well as team level.  For tips on reframing asking for help, check out Dr. Deborah Serani’s  blog –http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-to-ask-for-help.html

Share your fears of asking for help or stories when it’s been a wildly positive experience.  We encourage a diversity of voices as everyone holds a part of the truth.

In our work, we coach individual leaders and teams.  Regardless of what the focus of the coaching, all roads eventually lead to trust.   And so, this has become a signature of the work we do with our clients.

Definition:  “…trust is a pragmatic, tangible, actionable asset that you can create much faster than you probably think possible.  Simply put, trust means confidence…When you trust people you have confidence in them – in their integrity and in their abilities.”  Bottom-line – trust is an asset that can be developed when we are intentional about it.

When we work with individual leaders, we focus on their leadership impact.  We help them become more aware of their strengths, work with their limiting beliefs, identify ways to manage their weaknesses, and connect them with their values and passions.  All of this builds confidence and strong self esteem – essential qualities for leaders.  In the process, they build trust in themselves.  That is the first level of trust.  Without trust of self, it’s impossible to create trust in relationships.  Leaders can only inspire trust within their teams, their organization, their customers/clients and the marketplace if they trust themselves.

With teams, it’s clear that high performance is directly connected to trust.  Stephen M.R. Covey, in his book The Speed of Trust has identified 13 behaviours of relationship trust.  The behaviours are character and competency based – how we “be” and what we “do”.  To create trust in relationships, we must demonstrate the 13 behaviours CONSISTENTLY. 

When trust exists in teams, organizations thrive.  The simple economic equation is that when trust is high, speed is high and cost is low.  So if trust is good for the bottom-line how do we create it in teams?

Here’s what we’ve learned about working with trust and teams:

1. Trust work is slow work.  You need to set the right tone for the conversation about trust.  Each individual has their own perspective on trust.  The diversity of experiences and beliefs related to trust must be considered.  Start the conversation with storytelling.  Until each person can talk about trust from their perspective, you can’t do the work at a team level.
2. Identify the primary culture of trust   Some teams value productivity and getting things done; they tilt to more focus on competency based behaviours that create trust.  Other teams will be more relationships oriented, and focus more on character trust behaviours.  In systems coaching we call this “revealing the system” to itself.  We must honour the primary strength of the team so they see they have assets to draw on as the build trust together.
3. Identify situations and conditions that create trust.  Engage the team in dialogue that reveal when they trust…and when they don’t.  Get them connected to what it’s like for the team when trust is alive and strong.  Similarly, talk about the impact of low trust and the experience of teaming.  This process will help the team embrace why it’s important to proactively work together to build their competency in the behaviours that create trust. 
4. Trust talk triggers.  Be aware that working with trust can and will trigger individuals and the team.  Trust is such a core human desire that it is directly linked to vulnerability.  It is imperative to create safety and support so that people can talk without repercussions.   Given this, you might be tentative about opening this conversation with your team.  However, not talking about it presents a greater risk…issues of low trust that bubble under the surface of the team’s relationship.  When people get triggered they use unhealthy and unproductive behaviours that create overt or covert conflict.  This is what erodes trust.
5. Design the Team Alliance.  First, get agreement from the team that they want to work together to create more trust.  Help them identify what agreements they will make to grow trust i.e. “we commit to having direct conversations with our colleagues if there is a problem” or issue or “when we agree to do something we will deliver on our promise”.  Once the agreements are set, work with the team on skill training they will need to master the trust behaviours.  Usually the biggest area for development is related to direct communication and constructive feedback. 

Don’t assume that trust lives in your team.  Work at it with intention and nurture conditions to keep it strong.  This will ensure that you navigate times of challenge with ease and resilience.  That’s the only way that teams will productively keep on creating positive results together.

Share your trust building tips.  We love learning from others.

In order to hold the big picture and vision and stay grounded as a leader, it is vital to intentionally nurture yourself.  Here are some tips we use when working with leaders.

1.  Create a monthly or weekly practice for connecting with your vision and purpose.  Book one day a month or a few hours a week (in a block of time) as a visioning session (I do a silent retreat once a month).  For maximum success, schedule this regularly and don’t let anything interfere with it.   This practice is great modelling for others too.
RESULT:  You’ll be re-energized and renewed in your purpose and will gain clarity on the most important steps to keep moving towards your vision and goals.

2.  Create a vision story for your life or business.  Make it a five or 10 year horizon.  Long enough to stretch you and short enough to feel achievable.  Make it concrete with specific milestones.  Take a planned time out and regularly chart your progress towards the vision.  The key is to CELEBRATE accomplishments along the way, and adjust or change goals as things unfold.  Write it, collage it, or create a metaphor of it.  Whatever makes it feel real and compelling for you.

RESULT:  Clarity of intention and something that you can measure progress towards.

3.  Ask for help.  Sometimes we don’t have the answers and get stuck in doubt and inaction.  (Yes, leaders are human too!)  Leadership can be lonely.  Find a trusted mentor, colleague or coach and ask them to be a resource as you process both the joys and challenges of leadership. 

RESULT:  The relief of being able to openly process what you don’t know, explore possibilities, and move forward with confidence.

4.  If stuck, change perspective:  If you feel mired in confusion or overwhelmed your current situation literally change your position.  Imagine climbing up a mountain, literally getting out of the valley of overwhelm.  As you climb up, you are releasing yourself of the problems.  Imagine standing at the top of the mountain.  Put your arms out and turn around.  Do a complete 360 degree scan.  Keep your head up and look far out to the distance.  Now, look down again to the valley that you came from.  What’s different now?  What does this new angle perspective reveal?  What are some different paths you can follow?  What’s it like being detached from the challenges and being an observer?  Who else can contribute to creating solutions with you?  From this perspective, state your intention and go to action with new clarity and energy.

RESULT:  A process to help you get unstuck and access new perspectives that supports forward movement.

 Because we love to learn, share your tips for leadership renewal and refocusing.

Before reading, please study the “horizon” picture in the top, right corner.  What does this image evoke in you?  How does it inspire you?  Imagine it’s a metaphor for leadership – what’s the message for you?

If you are curious about the story of Horizon Leadership read on. 

This is me watching a sunset at Port Franks on Lake Huron.  My husband captured this image.  It’s one of the best gifts he ever gave me.  The business was already named Horizon Leadership, yet this image crystallized what a horizon leader means to me.

Leadership is the ability to see the big picture; to constantly scan the horizon and be aware of conditions around us.  It’s also the ability see over the horizon; to anticipate what is coming.  Leadership is about being visionary and strategic; seeking and creating clarity.  It’s also about being proactive versus reactive.  

We are blessed to work with many strategic leaders.  And often times we have to remind them to look up and scan the horizon; to step out of the reality of the present and reconnect with the future vision of what they are creating.  This requires intention and discipline…and oftentimes support from a trusted mentor or coach.

Leadership also requires us to be grounded and connected to the present.  I love that in this image, I’m deeply connected to the physical environment and the magic of what was unfolding in front of me.  It’s a metaphor for the deep reflection that is also a core component of leadership. It’s a reminder that leaders need to stop, pause, reflect and re-energize.   And too often they don’t.

So, as a leader, how do you keep your eye on the horizon while also staying grounded and connected to the purpose and core of who you are and what you stand for? 

See our next blog post “Tips for Horizon Leaders”  – holding the big picture and staying connected and grounded in your role.